I know the name I use is weird. It confuses a lot of people by being one letter away from “Kabbalah”, so the logical assumption is that it has something to do with Kabbalah, right? Well…no.
In Hebrew, the name for a destroying angel is a “mal’akhei habbalah”, which you see in places like the Book of Jubilees, but that’s not where I got the name from. This is where I have to show you how much of a great big nerd I am.
There’s a tabletop RPG called “In Nomine” that I’m absolutely fascinated with. It’s about heaven vs hell and angel vs demon, but what really caught my attention is that there are both fallen angels and “risen” demons. The habbalah, a class of demon, were especially interesting (quoted from the Wiki):
Habbalah, the Punishers, are the fourth Band of demons.
But that’s not how Habbalah see it. In their view, they’re angels serving God directly — the only ones serving God, in fact. Their mission is to separate the strong from the weak with trials and hardship. In turn, many Habbalah explain the lack of a direct sign of God’s approval as a test of their will. The anxiety of never knowing for sure is painful, beyond comprehension at times, but they are determined to fight the good fight all on their own, from the very pits of Hell, that they might prove themselves worthy. Sure, it’d be a lot easier to be like the “angels” in Heaven, with an assigned role and a mass of like-minded individuals reassuring you that what you were doing was right. But Truth isn’t “fair”.
The concept of such a self-deluded class of angels is was absolutely intriguing to me. At the very start of my path, I worked exclusively with angels (more about that in another post), so when it came time to make usernames on pagan sites, the first thing that came to mind was the habbalah. But this was because of my interest in them, not because I think I’m self-deluded. And I’m definitely no angel.
Walking My Path 